Abstain -- Word for the Day -- Sunday, August 24, 2008

Abstain
DEFINITION: (verb) to refrain, to hold back.

My, my, my -- where did the weekend go? I find myself even wondering, did I see ChemoSabe all weekend? Friday -- my day off, started out with taking ChemoSabe to UAMS and arriving at 8:00 after dropping the Tahoe off at the dealership for that sun roof leak. After getting fluids and discovering WBC was 0.05, we knew we were in for a full day. We played the waiting game from pharmacy for the Lovenox (blood thinner). If you remember, that is the med I have in the frig which consists of 15 syringes. After about an hour I had a chemo light bulb of an idea. I asked the RN if I could just give him the shots at home each day to save him time and use up our supply. Hey, we're outta there. After I dropped him off to the recliner and made a quick lunch, I was off again for more errands. I got home at 3:00 p.m.

Saturday was an even busier day for him. He took himself in again as I had to take the Tahoe for new tires. He got there again at 8:00 and got home at 3:00. His WBC yesterday was 0.09 with platelets being at 28. He got two rounds of fluid and blood along with his third growth factor shot. As you can tell, he is coming up very, very slowly.

As I waited for the Tahoe, I vacuumed the downstairs, rearranged the den, washed, blew leaves off the driveway, waxed the foyer and bathed three dogs. All the while I was praying the phone would ring and I could go after my vehicle. That would give me an excuse to take a break. After that I put on a pot of beans and made a pan of cornbread. Hmmmm Mmmmmmm

ChemoSabe has been crabby all week. I believe he is just aggravated with the continuous daily labs and the long periods of waiting. He was in a better mood when I went with him on Friday and I thought maybe that was the problem. I seriously believe it is his low counts, his tiredness and his inability to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. I am at that point myself. We can't plan anything because of the daily trips and because he is so neutrapenic. Tonight he held up one finger indicating he would be up in one day... I think it will be more like three.

His WBC today was 0.17 with platelets at 37. Today he got blood, platelets and two bags of saline along with an antibiotic drip. His CRAP (CRP) is up to 65 jumping from 47 yesterday.

Get this -- In August 2000, Poppy had his artificial hip put in. August 24, 2005 he had a triple bypass. August 23, 2007 - I left the job I totally loved. Next week, my baby boy turns 40 and my munchkin grandson turns 5.

With the crabbiness I have abstained from listening and remarking when he zones in. I know it is just his meds or how bad he feels. I believe that is why I have been working so hard at the house. Would you call that avoiding? It seems nothing makes him happy right how. I have been fixing his favorite foods and he isn't eating them. Claims they have a bad taste or he isn't hungry.
Again, today, he took himself. I got up at 6:30 a.m. and couldn't rest without him here, so I took Woody out of the cage and wheeled it out to the deck and got the power washer. After that I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't do the gutters and the two decks we missed a couple of weeks ago. When I moved the cage back in, I decided to rearrange the sunroom. Had to put the power washer up and since I was at the front drive, I might as well do the front gutters. Did that and got crud all over the drive, so there you have it, I did half the driveway. Thought I would check out the sunroof to see if the leak was fixed, so I squirted the Tahoe and ended up washing the whole thing --- IN THE RAIN! Now I'm thinking.... Is this day ever going to end? I washed the landscaping bricks and finished up with putting leather cleaner on my seats.

ChemoSabe came home for a nap, but he couldn't abstain from coming out and trying to clean his truck up a bit. He was out there about 20 minutes and couldn't take it. He got light headed from folding some shop towels I washed for him the other day. I think he is fudging on some of the honey-do chores? Don't you?

We have a doctor's appt tomorrow and I somehow hope they tell us the second stem cell transplant won't be until after the first of the year. Yes, one reason is insurance, but the main reason is to get him back on track at work, at home, personally, physically and Poppically. I MISS POPPY! He was never crabby.

POPPY --- COME HOME!!!!! PLEASE.

My cousin and her husband are doing their yearly visit down here next week from Indiana. We also do something together with my aunt and uncle. It is hard for us to plan anything when we don't know what level he will be. I am ready to ride. Just get on those things and ride like hell. Ride like there is no coming back. Varooooooooommmmm!

Well.... I am rambling, so I am going to call it a night and get in bed before 9:30. Can you blieve it?

Good night and love --- Pepper (Turnip)