Dissipate -- Word for the Day -- December 2, 2008

Dissipate
DEFINITION: (verb) to spread out or scatter.

How many days before Christmas? This is where I would like to dissipate. Go into a hole and hide or just disappear. I am not ready for Christmas. Are you?

I think of the year ChemoSabe and I have had and now we are looking at starting over again on January 4, 2009 with more testing and preparing for another round of chemo. We will find out on January 7 if we will be receiving another stem cell transplant. Not to be negative, but our insurance starts back up in January and even though the doc told us we would go to Consolidation in December and not a transplant, I believe he will decide on the transplant. Whatever it takes, we are ready. We are more prepared this round.

We are both healthy right now. ChemoSabe is still experiencing numbness in his left leg and the bottoms of both feet due to the Thalidomide. He is taking a med to help with the nerve endings, but it is not a cure. He could have this forever or it could slowly disappear. He was advised yesterday by our transplant RN that a new drug has come out to replace Thalidomide without the side effects. He feels better about that.

The hair. It is almost longer than mine. And, mine is pretty doggone short. His eyebrows are thick and almost all black. He is eating well (too well) and has good energy. We are still in the Bridging therapy of 21 days of certain meds with the first four days of steroids. Our 21 days begin again on Thursday so he will be hopping on the weekend.

He worked in the yard a lot over the holiday for three days. He even raked leaves in the rain (drizzle). He felt very good after those three days and I believe he is more confident he will not be weak or tired for the rest of his life. He continues to have an excellent attitude.

We are riding for Toys for Tots this weekend. We do it every year. There will be about 1,500 bikes or more and we will probably be right in the thick of things. I especially love the parade to Toy Hill. It brings tears to my eyes the whole way. I just can't contain myself seeing the children on the streets waving at us and I wonder how many of those actual kids will be needing the toys we carry to the Hill.

My stress level has dropped since I gave myself a good talking to. I can't control illnesses in my family. My mom is adjusting with still has very bad days of simple mindedness. That hurts me since she has always been an independent, strong willed person. ChemoSabe's dad had surgery a couple of weeks ago and he is doing fine. My boss had a TIA (mini stroke) last week and he was back to work in two days. My sister-in-law continues with radiation and chemo. I remain with the weight loss problem! ha

Just wanted to update you since my last writing was November 20. Your love for us and prayers has worked wonders. Just when I think I will lose my mind -- you call.

Have a good day and Love -- Pepper