Persevere
DEFINITION: (verb) to continue despite difficulties
My very first posting on ChemoSabe's journey was: Persevere -- April 13, 2008 -- Dreaded Visit and here we are again. Not even a year and I am dreading next week. We begin on Sunday with an MRI, then the bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday, doctor's visit Wednesday and the dreaded port insert on Thursday.
I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS!!!! Hell, who am I? It's ChemoSabe that will be going through it.
I remember having to go to the dentist A LOT when I was growing up and throughout my early adult years. At times I was going once a week. It would seem the visits would get easier, but not for me. They got harder. I would suspect ChemoSabe is the same way, although we haven't discussed it.
We will be discontinuing the Thalidomide (chemo by mouth) today and the Lovenox (blood thinner). He is happy about both. I am certain he will start a new regimen of pills at different doses. He has had so many I can't remember. I should be taking the test and not you -- Right?
He is extremely healthy now. Has gained a few pounds. Trying to keep up with me, I suppose. He doesn't get tired and seems to have enough energy to complete any task. We do relax a lot on the weekends by having our movie marathons. Somehow we do keep the house in order and the kids clean.
He is consumed in work and I know he doesn't look forward to any interferences with his schedule. His work is his life. No, he doesn't put it before me, but....
It will be a difficult time in time management for me because of my mother. She has become to expect me daily. I have reduced my visits for her acclamation and she is doing well as far as independence, but she can't seem to do without me more than one day. Please pray for my stress level during that time when I am trying to get by for her, trying to get home to ChemoSabe and trying to work, along with the home chores. It does sound like I am feeling sorry for myself, but I truly am not. Challenge, as with 2008, is my middle name.
What a year it has been!!!!! Who would have thought we would have had these trials. I believe I am stronger for it. ChemoSabe is definitely stronger physically, mentally and spiritually. He continues to outrun his competition.
We did have lab today, but we do not have the results, so I will keep you posted. At the risk of rambling, I will close and followup, hopefully before year end!
We will persevere!
As always and Love -- Pepper
Chemo Sabe
- ChemoSabe
- Benton, AR, United States
- Diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma-- May 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Protagonist -- Word for the Day -- Thursday, December 18, 2008
Protagonist
DEFINITION: (noun) the main character in a story or play; the main supporter of an idea.
When I first saw this word, for some reason I related it to procrastinate... That would be me at times, like cleaning the house, doing bills, etc. But, protagonist reminds me really of several individuals; ChemoSabe, because this journal was created for him; me (Pepper) because I thought of journaling (gosh, I'm intelligent); Son, because he has helped us so much this year; Cissy, because she listens; Sister, because she chauffered; Stretch and Rainman, for putting up with us; Niece, because she interpreted; Aunt, because we have become closer; Brother, because he dog sat while we got away; and the list goes on.
So, with that, we have so much to be thankful for this Christmas. The Lord has brought us through so many trials and I believe we did pretty doggone good.
We have been making our Christmas lists. Our conversation -- "What do you want for Christmas", "No, what do you want for Christmas", "No, I asked you first", "No, you tell me". Actually, after this year, I have exactly what I want -- my husband and my mother. Those two gave me a grave scare. Which brings me to my boss' best sermon this year - "Why count your blessings when you can complain?" I think of that each time I start to stumble, get tired, irritable, negative or unappreciative. It works. I won't tell you how many times I use it! ha
It stills brings me back to the protagonist. ChemoSabe had labs this week and did terrific. WBC at 8.51, RBC at 4.32, Platelets at 163, M-protein cannot be detected. So, this is your test... You knew it was coming. Do you remember what the ranges are? I thought so... So, I will give you some help -- WBC (3-12), RBC (4.5-6), Platelets (150-500). There ya go... Now, are you back on track?
Well, just wanted to catch you up on the good news about the labs. I promise I will do a better job of keeping you posted. BUT, if I don't -- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Good night and Love -- Pepper.
DEFINITION: (noun) the main character in a story or play; the main supporter of an idea.
When I first saw this word, for some reason I related it to procrastinate... That would be me at times, like cleaning the house, doing bills, etc. But, protagonist reminds me really of several individuals; ChemoSabe, because this journal was created for him; me (Pepper) because I thought of journaling (gosh, I'm intelligent); Son, because he has helped us so much this year; Cissy, because she listens; Sister, because she chauffered; Stretch and Rainman, for putting up with us; Niece, because she interpreted; Aunt, because we have become closer; Brother, because he dog sat while we got away; and the list goes on.
So, with that, we have so much to be thankful for this Christmas. The Lord has brought us through so many trials and I believe we did pretty doggone good.
We have been making our Christmas lists. Our conversation -- "What do you want for Christmas", "No, what do you want for Christmas", "No, I asked you first", "No, you tell me". Actually, after this year, I have exactly what I want -- my husband and my mother. Those two gave me a grave scare. Which brings me to my boss' best sermon this year - "Why count your blessings when you can complain?" I think of that each time I start to stumble, get tired, irritable, negative or unappreciative. It works. I won't tell you how many times I use it! ha
It stills brings me back to the protagonist. ChemoSabe had labs this week and did terrific. WBC at 8.51, RBC at 4.32, Platelets at 163, M-protein cannot be detected. So, this is your test... You knew it was coming. Do you remember what the ranges are? I thought so... So, I will give you some help -- WBC (3-12), RBC (4.5-6), Platelets (150-500). There ya go... Now, are you back on track?
Well, just wanted to catch you up on the good news about the labs. I promise I will do a better job of keeping you posted. BUT, if I don't -- Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Good night and Love -- Pepper.
Monday, December 8, 2008
TOYS FOR TOTS -- Word for the Day -- Monday, December 8, 2008
U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program
MISSION: The mission of the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program is to collect new, unwrapped toys during October, November and December each year, and distribute those toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community in which the campaign is conducted.
GOAL: The primary goal of Toys for Tots is to deliver, through a shiny new toy at Christmas, a message of hope to needy youngsters that will motivate them to grow into responsible, productive, patriotic citizens and community leaders.
OBJECTIVES: The objectives of Toys for Tots are to help needy children throughout the United States experience the joy of Christmas; to play an active role in the development of one of our nation's most valuable natural resources - our children; to unite all members of local communities in a common cause for three months each year during the annual toy collection and distribution campaign; and to contribute to better communities in the future.
================================================================
ChemoSabe had his labs last week and everything is going well. He is gearing up for January. With a lot of business plans this week he has had to take up the responsibility of giving himself stomach shots. Saturday was his first day as I watched. He did not even flinch.
Began steroids again last Friday. I can tell by his attitude he is on them. Tomorrow is the last day and then he will crash by Thursday. Roller coaster ride!
The tops of his hands have been bruising badly from the blood thinner. Looks like blood blisters. Mostly from Pete jumping on him and scratching him. He can put his hand in his pocket and they burst like blisters. He then bleeds heavily. I think we could do his shots every other day. I would hate for him to cut himself and bleed like that.
Early mornings last week and this week. He was up at 3:30 this morning and gone by 5:00. He seems to have good energy without tiring easily. He has put on some weight (15 lb.), but I won't tell you how much he weighs. He might read this! ha Looks like he might be catching up with me.
We did the Toys for Tots ride yesterday. It is our 5th year. It didn't seem as big as the years before, but we believe it was because it was on Sunday instead of Saturday. We were right in the middle of the motorcycle parade. I couldn't hear my bike to shift because of all the thundering pipes around me. AWESOME! The son rode with us and it was good to have him there.
My brother came in this weekend to spend time with my mom. She loves to see him and she seems to do so much better with him. We hope to bring her to our house for a day next weekend, but it will really hurt her to go back. She doesn't realize she won't be able to go home again.
Other than the cooler weather and ChemoSabe's travels, not too much going on. We have pulled some of our wood up from the pile and had two fires last week. We have some good burning wood this year.
Gotta run---
Good day and Love -- Pepper
MISSION: The mission of the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve Toys for Tots Program is to collect new, unwrapped toys during October, November and December each year, and distribute those toys as Christmas gifts to needy children in the community in which the campaign is conducted.
GOAL: The primary goal of Toys for Tots is to deliver, through a shiny new toy at Christmas, a message of hope to needy youngsters that will motivate them to grow into responsible, productive, patriotic citizens and community leaders.
OBJECTIVES: The objectives of Toys for Tots are to help needy children throughout the United States experience the joy of Christmas; to play an active role in the development of one of our nation's most valuable natural resources - our children; to unite all members of local communities in a common cause for three months each year during the annual toy collection and distribution campaign; and to contribute to better communities in the future.
================================================================
ChemoSabe had his labs last week and everything is going well. He is gearing up for January. With a lot of business plans this week he has had to take up the responsibility of giving himself stomach shots. Saturday was his first day as I watched. He did not even flinch.
Began steroids again last Friday. I can tell by his attitude he is on them. Tomorrow is the last day and then he will crash by Thursday. Roller coaster ride!
The tops of his hands have been bruising badly from the blood thinner. Looks like blood blisters. Mostly from Pete jumping on him and scratching him. He can put his hand in his pocket and they burst like blisters. He then bleeds heavily. I think we could do his shots every other day. I would hate for him to cut himself and bleed like that.
Early mornings last week and this week. He was up at 3:30 this morning and gone by 5:00. He seems to have good energy without tiring easily. He has put on some weight (15 lb.), but I won't tell you how much he weighs. He might read this! ha Looks like he might be catching up with me.
We did the Toys for Tots ride yesterday. It is our 5th year. It didn't seem as big as the years before, but we believe it was because it was on Sunday instead of Saturday. We were right in the middle of the motorcycle parade. I couldn't hear my bike to shift because of all the thundering pipes around me. AWESOME! The son rode with us and it was good to have him there.
My brother came in this weekend to spend time with my mom. She loves to see him and she seems to do so much better with him. We hope to bring her to our house for a day next weekend, but it will really hurt her to go back. She doesn't realize she won't be able to go home again.
Other than the cooler weather and ChemoSabe's travels, not too much going on. We have pulled some of our wood up from the pile and had two fires last week. We have some good burning wood this year.
Gotta run---
Good day and Love -- Pepper
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Dissipate -- Word for the Day -- December 2, 2008
Dissipate
DEFINITION: (verb) to spread out or scatter.
How many days before Christmas? This is where I would like to dissipate. Go into a hole and hide or just disappear. I am not ready for Christmas. Are you?
I think of the year ChemoSabe and I have had and now we are looking at starting over again on January 4, 2009 with more testing and preparing for another round of chemo. We will find out on January 7 if we will be receiving another stem cell transplant. Not to be negative, but our insurance starts back up in January and even though the doc told us we would go to Consolidation in December and not a transplant, I believe he will decide on the transplant. Whatever it takes, we are ready. We are more prepared this round.
We are both healthy right now. ChemoSabe is still experiencing numbness in his left leg and the bottoms of both feet due to the Thalidomide. He is taking a med to help with the nerve endings, but it is not a cure. He could have this forever or it could slowly disappear. He was advised yesterday by our transplant RN that a new drug has come out to replace Thalidomide without the side effects. He feels better about that.
The hair. It is almost longer than mine. And, mine is pretty doggone short. His eyebrows are thick and almost all black. He is eating well (too well) and has good energy. We are still in the Bridging therapy of 21 days of certain meds with the first four days of steroids. Our 21 days begin again on Thursday so he will be hopping on the weekend.
He worked in the yard a lot over the holiday for three days. He even raked leaves in the rain (drizzle). He felt very good after those three days and I believe he is more confident he will not be weak or tired for the rest of his life. He continues to have an excellent attitude.
We are riding for Toys for Tots this weekend. We do it every year. There will be about 1,500 bikes or more and we will probably be right in the thick of things. I especially love the parade to Toy Hill. It brings tears to my eyes the whole way. I just can't contain myself seeing the children on the streets waving at us and I wonder how many of those actual kids will be needing the toys we carry to the Hill.
My stress level has dropped since I gave myself a good talking to. I can't control illnesses in my family. My mom is adjusting with still has very bad days of simple mindedness. That hurts me since she has always been an independent, strong willed person. ChemoSabe's dad had surgery a couple of weeks ago and he is doing fine. My boss had a TIA (mini stroke) last week and he was back to work in two days. My sister-in-law continues with radiation and chemo. I remain with the weight loss problem! ha
Just wanted to update you since my last writing was November 20. Your love for us and prayers has worked wonders. Just when I think I will lose my mind -- you call.
Have a good day and Love -- Pepper
DEFINITION: (verb) to spread out or scatter.
How many days before Christmas? This is where I would like to dissipate. Go into a hole and hide or just disappear. I am not ready for Christmas. Are you?
I think of the year ChemoSabe and I have had and now we are looking at starting over again on January 4, 2009 with more testing and preparing for another round of chemo. We will find out on January 7 if we will be receiving another stem cell transplant. Not to be negative, but our insurance starts back up in January and even though the doc told us we would go to Consolidation in December and not a transplant, I believe he will decide on the transplant. Whatever it takes, we are ready. We are more prepared this round.
We are both healthy right now. ChemoSabe is still experiencing numbness in his left leg and the bottoms of both feet due to the Thalidomide. He is taking a med to help with the nerve endings, but it is not a cure. He could have this forever or it could slowly disappear. He was advised yesterday by our transplant RN that a new drug has come out to replace Thalidomide without the side effects. He feels better about that.
The hair. It is almost longer than mine. And, mine is pretty doggone short. His eyebrows are thick and almost all black. He is eating well (too well) and has good energy. We are still in the Bridging therapy of 21 days of certain meds with the first four days of steroids. Our 21 days begin again on Thursday so he will be hopping on the weekend.
He worked in the yard a lot over the holiday for three days. He even raked leaves in the rain (drizzle). He felt very good after those three days and I believe he is more confident he will not be weak or tired for the rest of his life. He continues to have an excellent attitude.
We are riding for Toys for Tots this weekend. We do it every year. There will be about 1,500 bikes or more and we will probably be right in the thick of things. I especially love the parade to Toy Hill. It brings tears to my eyes the whole way. I just can't contain myself seeing the children on the streets waving at us and I wonder how many of those actual kids will be needing the toys we carry to the Hill.
My stress level has dropped since I gave myself a good talking to. I can't control illnesses in my family. My mom is adjusting with still has very bad days of simple mindedness. That hurts me since she has always been an independent, strong willed person. ChemoSabe's dad had surgery a couple of weeks ago and he is doing fine. My boss had a TIA (mini stroke) last week and he was back to work in two days. My sister-in-law continues with radiation and chemo. I remain with the weight loss problem! ha
Just wanted to update you since my last writing was November 20. Your love for us and prayers has worked wonders. Just when I think I will lose my mind -- you call.
Have a good day and Love -- Pepper
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