Phlegmatic -- Word for the Day -- Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Phlegmatic
DEFINITION: (adjective) sluggish and unemotional in temperament.

Ahh!!! The wheels keep turning. I believe I am a broken spoke. Clicking along and being bruised up on the way. Crooked without a hope of being straightened again. Yet, I remain strong because of the content I am made of.

ChemoSabe had his follow up visit yesterday. The journey continues. We begin chemo again on Friday, Nov. 7. It matters none to them that we have no insurance. I have been combing my files for information to present for assistance before the chemo date comes.

He will be going through a phase called "Consolidation". He will not be getting the second stem cell transplant. Yeaaaa!!! He is at such a low risk now they do not feel it necessary. So, the process of chemo will be the same as before with carrying the bag for four days, having steroids and chemo by mouth for four days and then the visits to Infusion Center for daily labs and having the port flushed for at least three weeks. The only difference in the "Consolidation" is the chemo therapy doses won't be as strong. There is promise he will not lose his hair again.

Speaking of hair. He has a glow upon his head. It is growing back nicely and evenly. It does not look black, but silver. It also looks plentiful. He says he is growing it for me, but I really think he is just curious.

I feel phlegmatic the last couple of weeks with handling my mom's ordeal. Since my brothers have other things going on in their lives I have been signing papers for the nursing home and making calls to hospice, etc. I now find that physical therapy, a physician and other things are not in network under her medicare. For some reason, in November 2007, she changed her policy through social security. I believe they convinced her she would have more coverage with an HMO. I almost freaked out yesterday when they told me the only facility close to here she could be housed was Texarkana. That is way down south about two hours from here. I am still waiting on a call for confirmation we are set where I signed papers yesterday.

Poor ChemoSabe. Yesterday I left him again in the doctor's office. Our appt was at 1:30 and he was still there at 5:30 just waiting on a prescription. He has major numbness in his left leg and foot. He even claps his foot as he walks. The prescription seemed to help already as he slept better last night.

Keep continue to pray for us. I will be selfish today and ask for specific prayer for myself. That I will be strong enough physically, mentally and spiritually to continue on at the pace I am going. The nursing home will give me a relief from my three trips a day to visit her, but I will pick up new responsibilities in her care and also with ChemoSabe's upcoming process. I know it sounds like I am having a 'pity party'. So, for confirmation -- "Yes, I am." So please pray for my self centeredness (sp). That I may use that energy to focus on those that need me.

I believe if I could take an hour and go get my nails done I would feel better. I am two weeks over due! ha

Thank you and Love, Pepper!