Proximity
DEFINITION: (noun) the state, quality, sense, or fact of being near.
If any of you are control freaks like me you will understand a big portion of my notes for today. Proximity --- fact of being near. I have not been to Chemo Sabe's treatments the last two days and it has put me in a state of despair (my opinion), because I have not been able to control how he feels, new things that are coming, I am not the first to know, etc.
Another morning of nausea and dizziness. Last day of the steroids so tomorrow will be worse. Sister is taking him again tomorrow and she is more prepared. It is a very humbling experience to see your spouse, your brother or a very close person feeling weak. Someone who has always been strong physically and mentally. He is very physically mental, but tired.
Today marks a day of downhill progression. He admits it. White blood count was 5.76. Our new report today indicates he will be 1.0 by next Tuesday. Very susceptible to infection in any form or fashion. He will be nutrapenic. We will be in a confined state.
It was a very long day for him with two more prescriptions ordered and getting home in mid afternoon with a 9:30 a.m. appt. He didn't get his bag changed until 11:30. The days were miscalculated so the bag doesn't come off until tomorrow.
We had a good meal of baked cod, Brussels sprouts, rice and bread sticks with fresh apple tea. He ate well, but his appetite is dwindling. The only thing excessive are those darn hiccups. He still can't shake them and is taking one every six hours.
The induction should begin some time next week. It is coming upon us quickly. I am calling in my volunteer ladies at church to answer the phones for me at church. I plan to bring my laptop to UAMS and do my bulletins, prayer lists, sermon notes and other things and then run them in the office. There I go again, control. And, Proximity.
He has gained up to 239, which is 8 lb. since Saturday. He doesn't need any more fluid, but should be losing after this last set up pills tonight. The only ones after that are anti-fungal and anti-biotic. The other are injected at the hospital.
I am glad he got to spend the day alone with Sister. They both got in trouble for not asking about something that was on the note I sent with them. Those darn kids, I will have to just take care of it myself.
Well, Chemo Sabe is summonings me. Guess I better hit the rack.
Pray for us tonight. Pray we have continued strength and continued good attitudes. Pray specifically for my control. That I might better trust others to do just as perfect as I do and if they don't , pray I keep my mouth shut! Love .... Pepper
Chemo Sabe
- ChemoSabe
- Benton, AR, United States
- Diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma-- May 2008
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Monday, June 2, 2008
Purify - Word for the Day - Monday, June 2, 2008
Purify
DEFINITION: (verb) to make pure, clean, or perfect.
Can't believe it is June and we only have six months to Christmas. Don't you dislike those guys that write "Xmas"? It makes me think they are x-ing out Christ. Purify ... isn't that what He did to us?
Had another morning with slight nausea and small hangover. He felt like driving himself to UAMS for his bag change. After a much, none too pleasant conversation, I headed on out to work. He did, bless his heart, make his 9:30 on time. And, came by work for a visit before coming home. He received some stronger anti-nausea meds along with his daily blood thinner shot in the stomach and a bag change out. His sis, Treesie, will be taking him tomorrow. He gets disconnected from the big bag then.
We will be crashing the end of the week because tomorrow is also the last day for the steroid. Gosh, I was truly enjoying his loading and unloading the dishwasher. He has had so much energy. He is still laughing with great spirit. He continues to bring a smile to my face when I start to feel he is coming down.
Platelets were low today, but that is to be expected. They will be getting a lot lower. They were 54,000 yesterday. If we go below 20k it will be transfusion time.
In about 14 days the first phase of the purifying will begin. His immune system will be at its lowest. It will be mask time. I believe we should ask if they have black masks so he will be the true "Chemo Sabe". But, then, I couldn't send him to the bank or grocery store.
No swelling today. His wrist even looks normal. So normal we believe he might be able to put his wedding band back on for a little bit.
Your prayers are working. All of them. Pray for our others friends, too, in the MM center. I don't hear their complaints, I hear their victories. Reminds me again of Bro. Ken's sermon a few weeks ago I mentioned before -- "Why Count Your Blessings When You Can Complain?". Gosh, I needed to remember that this morning. If I had remembered and prayed, I, too, would have been purified for the day. Instead, I complained. Thank you KJ.
Good evening... Love, Pepper
DEFINITION: (verb) to make pure, clean, or perfect.
Can't believe it is June and we only have six months to Christmas. Don't you dislike those guys that write "Xmas"? It makes me think they are x-ing out Christ. Purify ... isn't that what He did to us?
Had another morning with slight nausea and small hangover. He felt like driving himself to UAMS for his bag change. After a much, none too pleasant conversation, I headed on out to work. He did, bless his heart, make his 9:30 on time. And, came by work for a visit before coming home. He received some stronger anti-nausea meds along with his daily blood thinner shot in the stomach and a bag change out. His sis, Treesie, will be taking him tomorrow. He gets disconnected from the big bag then.
We will be crashing the end of the week because tomorrow is also the last day for the steroid. Gosh, I was truly enjoying his loading and unloading the dishwasher. He has had so much energy. He is still laughing with great spirit. He continues to bring a smile to my face when I start to feel he is coming down.
Platelets were low today, but that is to be expected. They will be getting a lot lower. They were 54,000 yesterday. If we go below 20k it will be transfusion time.
In about 14 days the first phase of the purifying will begin. His immune system will be at its lowest. It will be mask time. I believe we should ask if they have black masks so he will be the true "Chemo Sabe". But, then, I couldn't send him to the bank or grocery store.
No swelling today. His wrist even looks normal. So normal we believe he might be able to put his wedding band back on for a little bit.
Your prayers are working. All of them. Pray for our others friends, too, in the MM center. I don't hear their complaints, I hear their victories. Reminds me again of Bro. Ken's sermon a few weeks ago I mentioned before -- "Why Count Your Blessings When You Can Complain?". Gosh, I needed to remember that this morning. If I had remembered and prayed, I, too, would have been purified for the day. Instead, I complained. Thank you KJ.
Good evening... Love, Pepper
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Irrational - Word for the Day -- Sunday, June 1, 2008
Irrational
DEFINITION: (adjective) not endowed with reason.
Long day! Chemo Sabe just couldn't seem to get out of bed this morning. We wanted to be at UAMS by 8:30. We left here at 9:00. He had nausea and a hang over. I had already guessed it was from the Thalidomide. He wanted to stop at Krispy Kreme to get the RN from yesterday her donuts so I thought, we are already late, why not? She was thrilled, so the extra stop was worth it.
The bag started beeping this morning around 4:00. He never heard it because he was so sound asleep. He had rolled over and crimped the tube. It was okay until around 10:00 when the bag emptied. We were in the waiting room so I took the battery out. We got into clinic, had blood drawn, dressing change, flushes, and a new bag. Plus, he got two nausea pills.
We met some good people today. We heard some insurance horror stories. We can relate. We also heard a story that was very irrational. A nurse came out and announced that someone's purse was stolen yesterday in the waiting room. This is a place where there are numerous recliners, a television, a table with a puzzle, coffee center and some snacks for the patients that need a lift. The nurses even bring out warm blankets for the patients dealing with chills, etc. A rest haven, if you will, for the long waiting periods each day. Special for the MM patients only.
A caregiver went over to assist someone having problems with a bag beeping and when she did a man took a blanket, wrapped her purse in it and left. Irrational. He had been changing chairs and looking for the right opportuntity. It hasn't been the first time.
We got a report of Chemo Sabe lab from yesterday. We get one each day from the day before. We compared them and his counts are coming up. But, don't be excited. They will be dropping drastically before the week is up. He gets his bag off on Wednesday and we wait. We see the doctor again on Friday.
We were both worn out when we left. I have been fighting off a migraine since Friday. We agreed to coming home and taking a nap instead of going to Wal-Mart. We didn't leave UAMS until 11:50 so we missed church. He had wanted to still go even if we left at 11:00.
Well, we did lie down. He did after he unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and made himself some boiled eggs. Morning steriods kicking in. We had only been down about 30 minutes when UAMS called and needed us to return. His lab came back bad. His hemoglobin was below 6. Off we went after getting $90 worth of gas and running through the car wash. On the interstate we hit a rain cloud.
It was storming nicely when we arrived. The clinic wasn't too crowded and we got to fill out our first green slip. An indication we were 'returning' patients.. We arrived at 2:50 and we were out of there by 3:30. His labs were okay. They figured when the test was run it got clotted in the cyclinder and couldn't be tested.
Chemo Sabe had the hiccups all day. Uncontrollable. Irrational, if you may. On our last visit today I made a mental note to ask the nurse about it. Probably nothing, you would think. There was another gentleman there that stared hiccuping, too. So, when the nurse gave us the okay to leave I told her about it. She advised us it is a common side affect of the chemo. So, she hooked us up to a prescription along with the other guy. Never know with these chemo kids.
We finally got settled in again after some sandwiches and potato soup. I finally took something for my headache, so I need to go down and check on him. He is too quiet.
Oh, one final note. Chemo Sabe has been seeing a lot of people wearing buttons with "Myleloma Sucks" on them. Our nurse today, Madaline (Maddie for short) had one on and he asked her about it. She tells us there is a patient from Louisiana that has them made. We met him during the first bone biopsy. The nurse give Chemo Sabe the pin. That is another special way the UAMS people are.
Good night --- Pepper
DEFINITION: (adjective) not endowed with reason.
Long day! Chemo Sabe just couldn't seem to get out of bed this morning. We wanted to be at UAMS by 8:30. We left here at 9:00. He had nausea and a hang over. I had already guessed it was from the Thalidomide. He wanted to stop at Krispy Kreme to get the RN from yesterday her donuts so I thought, we are already late, why not? She was thrilled, so the extra stop was worth it.
The bag started beeping this morning around 4:00. He never heard it because he was so sound asleep. He had rolled over and crimped the tube. It was okay until around 10:00 when the bag emptied. We were in the waiting room so I took the battery out. We got into clinic, had blood drawn, dressing change, flushes, and a new bag. Plus, he got two nausea pills.
We met some good people today. We heard some insurance horror stories. We can relate. We also heard a story that was very irrational. A nurse came out and announced that someone's purse was stolen yesterday in the waiting room. This is a place where there are numerous recliners, a television, a table with a puzzle, coffee center and some snacks for the patients that need a lift. The nurses even bring out warm blankets for the patients dealing with chills, etc. A rest haven, if you will, for the long waiting periods each day. Special for the MM patients only.
A caregiver went over to assist someone having problems with a bag beeping and when she did a man took a blanket, wrapped her purse in it and left. Irrational. He had been changing chairs and looking for the right opportuntity. It hasn't been the first time.
We got a report of Chemo Sabe lab from yesterday. We get one each day from the day before. We compared them and his counts are coming up. But, don't be excited. They will be dropping drastically before the week is up. He gets his bag off on Wednesday and we wait. We see the doctor again on Friday.
We were both worn out when we left. I have been fighting off a migraine since Friday. We agreed to coming home and taking a nap instead of going to Wal-Mart. We didn't leave UAMS until 11:50 so we missed church. He had wanted to still go even if we left at 11:00.
Well, we did lie down. He did after he unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and made himself some boiled eggs. Morning steriods kicking in. We had only been down about 30 minutes when UAMS called and needed us to return. His lab came back bad. His hemoglobin was below 6. Off we went after getting $90 worth of gas and running through the car wash. On the interstate we hit a rain cloud.
It was storming nicely when we arrived. The clinic wasn't too crowded and we got to fill out our first green slip. An indication we were 'returning' patients.. We arrived at 2:50 and we were out of there by 3:30. His labs were okay. They figured when the test was run it got clotted in the cyclinder and couldn't be tested.
Chemo Sabe had the hiccups all day. Uncontrollable. Irrational, if you may. On our last visit today I made a mental note to ask the nurse about it. Probably nothing, you would think. There was another gentleman there that stared hiccuping, too. So, when the nurse gave us the okay to leave I told her about it. She advised us it is a common side affect of the chemo. So, she hooked us up to a prescription along with the other guy. Never know with these chemo kids.
We finally got settled in again after some sandwiches and potato soup. I finally took something for my headache, so I need to go down and check on him. He is too quiet.
Oh, one final note. Chemo Sabe has been seeing a lot of people wearing buttons with "Myleloma Sucks" on them. Our nurse today, Madaline (Maddie for short) had one on and he asked her about it. She tells us there is a patient from Louisiana that has them made. We met him during the first bone biopsy. The nurse give Chemo Sabe the pin. That is another special way the UAMS people are.
Good night --- Pepper
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