Proximity -- Word for the Day -- Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Proximity
DEFINITION: (noun) the state, quality, sense, or fact of being near.

If any of you are control freaks like me you will understand a big portion of my notes for today. Proximity --- fact of being near. I have not been to Chemo Sabe's treatments the last two days and it has put me in a state of despair (my opinion), because I have not been able to control how he feels, new things that are coming, I am not the first to know, etc.

Another morning of nausea and dizziness. Last day of the steroids so tomorrow will be worse. Sister is taking him again tomorrow and she is more prepared. It is a very humbling experience to see your spouse, your brother or a very close person feeling weak. Someone who has always been strong physically and mentally. He is very physically mental, but tired.

Today marks a day of downhill progression. He admits it. White blood count was 5.76. Our new report today indicates he will be 1.0 by next Tuesday. Very susceptible to infection in any form or fashion. He will be nutrapenic. We will be in a confined state.

It was a very long day for him with two more prescriptions ordered and getting home in mid afternoon with a 9:30 a.m. appt. He didn't get his bag changed until 11:30. The days were miscalculated so the bag doesn't come off until tomorrow.

We had a good meal of baked cod, Brussels sprouts, rice and bread sticks with fresh apple tea. He ate well, but his appetite is dwindling. The only thing excessive are those darn hiccups. He still can't shake them and is taking one every six hours.

The induction should begin some time next week. It is coming upon us quickly. I am calling in my volunteer ladies at church to answer the phones for me at church. I plan to bring my laptop to UAMS and do my bulletins, prayer lists, sermon notes and other things and then run them in the office. There I go again, control. And, Proximity.

He has gained up to 239, which is 8 lb. since Saturday. He doesn't need any more fluid, but should be losing after this last set up pills tonight. The only ones after that are anti-fungal and anti-biotic. The other are injected at the hospital.

I am glad he got to spend the day alone with Sister. They both got in trouble for not asking about something that was on the note I sent with them. Those darn kids, I will have to just take care of it myself.

Well, Chemo Sabe is summonings me. Guess I better hit the rack.

Pray for us tonight. Pray we have continued strength and continued good attitudes. Pray specifically for my control. That I might better trust others to do just as perfect as I do and if they don't , pray I keep my mouth shut! Love .... Pepper