Deplete -- Word for the Day -- Friday, April 3, 2009

Deplete

Definition: drain , exhaust , impoverish , bankrupt mean to deprive of something essential to existence or potency. deplete implies a reduction in number or quantity so as to endanger the ability to function.

I honestly will not pretend to know how ChemoSabe made it through the week. He has finally collapsed as he gave in to the depletion.

Yesterday, he was up at 3:30 a.m. and out the door by 5:00 a.m. to head out of town then back to L.R. by noon for his Infusion visit. He left Infusion around 2:30 p.m. and went into the office. By 4:00 p.m. he was back at Infusion because they forgot to give him his Velcade injection. When he finally got home at 6:00 p.m. we both hit the bed.

After relaxing and talking for about an hour I got up and fixed us some oatmeal and biscuits for dinner. Gosh, it seemed to be the most magnificent meal we have had in a while. It really hit the spot. Then, back to bed.

I have continued to nest down on the floor of the spare bedroom. With him taking the hiccup pills twice a day, it opens up his throat area and relaxes the throat muscles so I just can't take it. No way I would ask him to move with lugging the chemo bag around and with the hours he has been getting up.

This morning he was up at 4:30 and into the office he went. I did get to sleep a little longer as it is my day off. But, what chores I have that have lain by the wayside. With the rain this week our yard is beginning to look like I need to have hay cut. I do not know when I will get to it since we have a busy schedule until Wednesday or Thursday.

He again came home around 6:30 p.m. today and went straight up to bed and not the recliner. Now I know he is depleted. That gave me the opportunity to finish paying bills. What a headache. I counted 14 accounts with UAMS now. So, I pay less on each account. Every little bit helps. I just don't let it worry me like in the beginning. At least we got the big mamma jamma chemo by mouth at no charge this round. I picked it up in the Infusion pharmacy and then two days later we got two more packs via FedEx. Now the Transplant nurse is thinking about taking him off it altogether. That's okay, though.... We didn't lose anything.

The last chemo rounds I would try to fix all the foods he liked and especially the healthy ones. Only to discover he was a little hungry, but didn't have a taste for what I fixed. So, this time I wait until he gets home and give him a choice. Tonight it was salmon with rice and green beans OR bacon and eggs. He said he had been having a craving for my fried egg sandwiches. GOSH, why didn't I think of that? So, I took a break from the bill paying and fixed them with cheese dip and chips, with a fresh pitcher of my lip smacking tea. Ate --- and back to bed.

He has gained about 25 lb. since Monday. I won't tell you how much he weighs. He would shoot me. He has lost five pounds since yesterday. Yesterday was also the last day of the dex (steroid) so the weight will be coming off faster in the next couple of days. He also got his bag off today so the fluids have decreased, also.

Chemo really stinks....... I mean stinks.... Not only having to take it, but to have it in your system.... It stinks (smells)... I have washed clothes all day and the order is like he has been working in a field in 110 deg. temperature. He told me last night he could smell himself, but I told him I couldn't smell anything. (LIE!!! Well, just a little one). That, too, will be depleting in the next couple of days. Oh... not the lies --- the smell. Sometimes a caregiver has to do what they have to do to keep confidence up. If you remember, when he had the stem cell transplant we even had to buy different deordoant... That was a massive odor.

We are blessed. Roger in OKC is still sick. Has been since he returned home about three weeks ago. They are due back around the middle of May. ChemoSabe is being told we won't be back for six months after this round. Cross your fingers. That will give us until around November for our freedom.

We are lucky, too, that ChemoSabe feels good enough to work and do things he has done in the past. He really wants to ride tomorrow because the weather will be so nice, but I have prepared him he might be dragging the floor after coming off the dex.

Well, kids... It is 10:45 p.m. and I have to get him up early. Don't know if I will even go to the bedroom. May just stay here in my little hole and throw the comforter on the floor. That spare bed has just been killing me so that's why I chose the floor. Gotta get him up in time to make his 7:30 lab.

Good night and Love -- Pepper