Grief -- Word for the Day -- Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Grief

Definition: deep and poignant distress caused by or as if by bereavement. A cause of such suffering. An unfortunate outcome : disaster —used chiefly in the phrase come to grief. Mishap, misadventure. Trouble, annoyance


Well, we are back in the saddle. ChemoSabe began his #2 Consolidation and had the port put in yesterday. The doses are stronger this time. I am praying he doesn't have any problems like his first round of chemo, way back when....

I had a response back from Ruthie on the definition of stem cell. If you recall, she is from OKC and she likes to answer (and she definitely has the experience) all the questions on the tests. So, here it is:
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Pick me, pick me, I always had to be first in school!

Truly, this is a very complicated disease and also hard for our family members to comprehend…..hopefully this will help some….

A stem-cell is a component of the blood that is “unspecific” or it is a baby and does not know what its job is going to be yet. Unlike specific stem-cells that are grown-up and know that their job is to replenish the cells of a muscle, heart, etc. Since stem-cells don’t know what they are going to do yet, when grown-up cells are attacked (like with Multiple Myeloma) they scream for help from the babies that don’t have a job yet. As long as there are enough babies to help, there are only mild symptoms of the disease. When the babies get low, and can’t offer enough help to the grown-up cells, then bigger symptoms appear like fatigue, back pain, broken bones, kidney failure, etc. Thus, a really early diagnosis is rare!

Soooo, we go to UAMS and they harvest “suck out” the stem-cells or baby cells (hopefully there will still be a few million) from the patient. It is better to harvest from the patient because their stem-cells are already acquainted with that body. Then they give the patient a heavy dose of chemo to kill all cells (unfortunately, good and bad, which is why the patient gets so sick); when the patient is literally neutral of all cells; the patient is given millions of those babies (stem-cells) to go to work to help the bone marrow produce millions and millions more babies that can replenish the marrow. Stem-cells can divide and renew themselves many, many times and can do this for long periods of time—grownup cells cannot. The longer the cells stay unspecific—or babies-- the longer they will divide and repair.

That is always the goal to maintain periods of good quality of life….like riding bikes and going RVing. Remember, there is no cure yet—took me a long time to say that!

Sooo, that is the stem-cell lesson. The teacher always comes out in me!!! I miss my classroom and interaction with my students. But, we will keep on and on…..and enjoy what we have. I promise to let someone else answer the next question.

Ruthie
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I just love her, don't you?

The grief from my mom's passing is just about to eat me up, on top of the chemo beginning this week. Then I have the income tax stuff to deal with as I have procrastinated. If you are a caregiver, you can understand that I am about to just pack up and run... Then, I think about ChemoSabe and the things he is going thru with trying to work and keep up his treatments. I guess I am having my own pity party.

Labs are good this week, with platelets being steady at 80. They are suppose to be above 100, but we don't worry until they are below 50. CRP (crap) is up to 6.54. I was concerned, but the nurse says it is okay.

He is taking 20 pills a day right now, but those will reduce in the next four days to about 12. I line them up on a napkin at night and put a.m. in one corner and p.m. in the other. He is a trooper, but I found him putting some back in the bottle a couple of weeks back. So, I am keeping an eye on him.

I still look at this man and I can't see him ill. In the back of my mind I see it could get worse, but those are things I try not to focus on. I still see us sitting on the porch when we are 80-90 talking about the experiences we have had.

I am glad the weather has been raining and cool so we don't have the desire to ride. I don't see a good day any time soon. I have ridden a couple of days by myself, but then it isn't as enjoyable or fair.

As you can see, I am rambling --- Just wanted you to know I had not forgotten about you. As we get deeper into the treatments, I will write more with how he is progressing.

Good afternoon and Love --- Pepper