Word for the Day -- Monday, October 12, 2015

Delve  \DELV\

Definition:  verb

        1.      to dig or labor with or as if with a spade

        2.     a. to make a careful or detailed search for information
              b. to examine a subject in detail

I find myself getting more anxious about a schedule for the chemo and stem cell transplant.  I forwarded the two letters I received from insurance to UAMS and it has in fact been approved.  I also shared that unless his labs go up drastically today, I believe he is too low to have chemo.

So this brings us to......Can he go another few weeks without chemo.  Well, I believe, My Dear, that depends on his ammonia right now.  And, I'm hoping that since he hasn't had a bone marrow biopsy and MRI since last month, that Dr. Z won't order another up.  He had both in August while in the hospital and before he ordered up the SCT he wanted another which was September 17. 

So, I delve on the 'what ifs' and 'so whats'.  I so try not to be concerned, because as I mentioned last evening, I can only imagine how he feels.

He has had very good energy and has been a lot more around the house.  He still has his 'pick and choose' method, of which some I am not too happy, but I overlook that because in a few weeks, he won't feel like or be able to do anything. 

We both have been down in the dumps about our future.  It feels like we can't really make plans for our retirement, traveling after retirement, future goals for sitting on the porch and growing old together, because of the drain on us physically and mentally this has caused the last few years.  We thought he would have been in remission longer than three years.  There I go thinking again!


So, here we go.  We have an appointment with Dr. Z on Friday at 1:00.  Infusion has advised that labs are good to go and after our visit on Friday they believe the chemo will begin on Saturday.  We are cancelling our bike ride to Eureka.  BUT, we haven't seen the Big Kuhuna, yet!


I don't see his platelets being high enough and when he mentioned that to the APN, she replied they would just give him some.  His ammonia went up a few points to 32.  Last week was 29.  I'm planning on giving him more of his medicine for that, but I will have to stand over him to make certain he takes it... 


So, with that bit of news for us to delve on this evening and the rest of the week, I leave you with ---


Good Night and Love -- Pepper

Word for the Day - Sunday, October 11, 2015

Wooden  \WOOD-un\

 

Definition:  adjective

 

1 :

made or consisting of wood

2 :

lacking ease or flexibility : awkwardly stiff We had a wonderful weekend after having experienced a gloomy, dismal week.  I think really the weather has everyone on the down and outs. I stayed home and did a variety of things on my day off.  I felt accomplished.  I thought my spirits would be better as the day came to a close, but then I ventured down to the mail box.  We received a packet from our insurance company that contained the Transplant authorization papers and some consent forms to sign.  One letter indicated the transplant had not been approved as they were awaiting more information from the institute.  The second letter indicated it had been approved for In-Network processing and everything that would be covered, such as necessary x-rays, scans, etc.  These two letters were in the same envelope. I read through everything to make certain I understood everything and to see what information, if any, we needed to provide.  I also searched to see if we needed to mail back the information, if the institute was responsible, or if we could fax/scan it for the sake of being expedient. I shared my findings with Poppy when he arrived.  He didn't seem interested.  Sooooooo, when we went to bed I brought the whole package and asked him to review.  He read parts of it out loud and then again seemed disinterested.  Onward! We got to ride with some friends yesterday.  We were able to satisfy our appetite for our oysters and peel em and eat em.  We stuffed ourselves, but we didn't feel full.  I was ready to go back today for a repeat.  The weather was absolutely perfect so we sat on the deck of Fisherman's Wharf.  We all four paid the consequences later as the tables were picnic tables and the benches had no backs.  It's hell to get old!!! Today Poppy let me sleep in a bit before he yelled up the stairwell that breakfast was served.  His good ole bacon, with biscuits, scrambled eggs and gravy.  He even did the dishes. We visited the new Kroger Market place and shopped for things we really didn't need, so I was happy we got a 10% off our total.  When we got home he mentioned we forgot to get something for dinner.  I held out as long as I could and he ended up fixing turkey sandwiches with chips and dip.  He, again, cleaned up the kitchen. I can't imagine how he feels beginning this new journey.  I feel anxious, excited, gloomy, wooden, depressed, ready.... and more, all rolled up in one. We have a weekend trip planned with our group in November and have our reservations.  But, we really can't plan anything because of timing.  Timing of which we do not have.  Work schedules we need to focus on and can't because we have no schedule.  Riding the bikes before bad weather, but we can't because we haven't a schedule. I believe the biggest WORD for both of us would be the word, UNKNOWN.  Before coming up to bed, again I read over the transplant packet that made its way back down to the kitchen counter.  Then, because he still seem disinterested, I signed my sections and then showed him his marked sections.  He signed them, but as far as he knows, I could have made him sign the house and all our belongings over to me... LOL  Either he trusts me totally with everything he has, or he just doesn't want to discuss or think about the transplant... Who could blame him. We had a wonderful weekend....  I'm for certain we will have more before the cold weather hits... Good Night and Love -- Pepper

Word for the Day -- Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Reprise:  \rih-PREEZ\

Definition:  noun

1 :	a recurrence, renewal, or resumption of an action
2	a :	a musical repetition
	b :	a repeated performance : repetition Soooooo, Poppy was up at 11:30 last night and rolled out of town at 12:30 a.m.  He headed to Ft. Smith to instruct a state class and do some HR.  I really don't know how he had the energy to drive back. He drove in the driveway around 6:30 p.m.  I fixed the long awaited burgers and cheese dip he wanted.  I fixed up some salsa, too.  It always reminds him of my little brother.  Mike use to say he loved my salsa so much he could drink it.  Still anxiously awaiting the word on the schedule for treatments.  Dr. Nick, a friend of ours, came into the office today and we discussed this.  When I told him about Poppy's platelets he shook his head and told me what I already knew, but was ignoring.  The platelets really need to come up a bit before any chemo is done or it will knock him on his hinny.  I shared this news as we got ready for bed.  He looks at me and asks what can he eat to bring his platelets up.... LOL... Anytime his magnesium, phosphorus or potassium goes down, Infusion gives his a list of food products to eat to bring it back up.  One reason I buy bananas weekly and fix beans on a regular basis.  He has it in his head that chocolate is one of the food groups so we have moved all his candy to the coffee table instead of the end table in the den.  AND, he says the end table was a little inconvenient when I last rearranged the den and put it in the corner. So, the Word for the Day is Reprise...  Recurrence, renewal or repeated action...  I won't use it in a sentence.  I will just say, I see a 'recurrence' of how things were back when we began in 2008.  I see him working himself to no end.  As if in preparation to be in the 'down' mode of his treatment.  This time will be different because his company is different.  He is dreading this time off.  But, in 2008 he was more comfortable because his V.P. came and worked in his place for three weeks and she enjoyed every minute of it.  Said he was so prepared she didn't have to do a thing.  He has begun to shave a little.  He hasn't had to in almost five weeks.  He puts his head on me and says, "Feel this"...  It's as slick as a buffed up bowling ball.  It wouldn't surprise me if he was spit shining it every morning when he does his shoes.  He is sleeping now.  He couldn't make it through one of our recorded shows.  I guess he feels (knows) I'm still upset about his going to the dentist yesterday, because after dinner he unloaded and loaded the dish washer.  That made me feel guilty.  But, again, I guess I'm being over protective. I heard news on Mr. Goodness tonight.  His counts are coming up each hour, BUT his pneumonia still has him in critical condition.  So, really no news tonight, except Poppy keeps on ticking.  Doesn't complain or get agitated, especially when I'm in my silent mode.  As he sat in the recliner this evening I did see some color to his face.  He's been checking his BP every night before bed.  It's staying up nicely.  I still give him Midodrine to increase it and it does a good job. He wondered the other night why it was higher in the evening.  I told him it was probably because of the chores he does when he gets home and then walking up the stairs.  It runs low at the clinic because he has sat at his desk much of the day or has driven.  Soooooooo, he claims he's gonna start running up the stairs at clinic to get a better reading!  LOL... Clinic is on the 4th floor.  Yeah Right!!! Good Night All -- Love, Pepper