Stress -- Word for the Day -- Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Stress

The deformation caused in a body by such a force. A physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation. A state resulting from a stress; especially one of bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium.

I use this word today because that is all I have seen on Facebook from family and friends the last few weeks. The individuals are not of an older generation, but from the college inductee category. With these stress related issues, they would tend to let you believe they are in dire need of someone from the older generation to listen. When one calls their hand, they then lash out with unhealthy language and an attitude of disrespect.

What has the 'college' and 'high school' generation come to that the adults that would like to follow along with family and friend's updates cannot do so in a manner of enjoyment? I find myself getting entwined in their game and as much as I resist the desire to participate, I found myself today doing just that... It sickened me of myself, but especially of the one that pulled me into the trap.

Now that I have that off my chest!

Memorial services for Sharon were very nice on Saturday. My little brother did very well. It is now time for him to begin the mending phase. Please pray for him as he goes through this process as he has been unable to eat and has turned to a 12 pack a day. Guess he forgot the phrase of "An apple a day keeps the doctor away."... Somehow down the line he got confused at the grocery store.

I am at my wit's end with him. If I am nice, he drinks more. If I am angry, he drinks more.

I found myself recruiting ChemoSabe last night after my last couple of nights with stress worrying about my brother. We jumped on the spa and emptied it, polished and began the filling process. I had emptied it about a month ago and propped the ends open so it would not mildew... I did a wonderful job at that, if I must say so myself. ha... It cleaned up nicely and we began filling it around 8:00 p.m. At 10:30 I turned the water off. It was only half fill.. Or, was it half empty?

This morning I sat an alarm and turned the water back on. Got it filled and turned the pump and heater on. I can't wait until tonight. All that twisting and turning pulled my back again. I slept on the heating pad and took muscle relaxers. If you know me at all, you know I HATE pills.

Have to tell you this... This will remind you of the "Stupider" post from a few weeks ago. The last time I emptied the spa and cleaned it, I thought I had the water hose on a timer. I use to have all the hoses on one. Well, someone in the household (there are only two of us and it were not I) (red neck talk), disconnected the timer. I turned the water on; we went to Wal-Mart (about two hours) and then went else where (about four hours) and when we came back in the night I went to check the spa... OH MY GOODNESS... Four flooded decks...

ChemoSabe is traveling today after having a tooth filled this morning. He called me to ask if he was speaking strangely. ha

Our friend, Roger from OKC got a very good report on Friday. He heard the word "REMISSION". BUT, he is doing another round of chemo that began on Saturday. He did a second stem cell transplant. You will remember when we started the stem cell collection we thought he would be the first one out of the gate. It took him almost a week to collect the 21,000.

We met Ruthie and him, along with my boss and wife for dinner last week. We had such a pleasant visit and good food. Can't wait till we meet again. It was a stress reliever.

We are looking to try a motorcycle trip in the next few weeks to St. Louis before ChemoSabe begins his Velcade injections. We are told he will be quite tired after those. I haven't seen it, yet, in all his treatments. Knowing him it will affect him like a dose of chemo! ha..

Well, Kids.. I really need to get back to work since it is a short week. Again, please continue to pray for my brother. He is such a loving and caring person to others. He would give a stranger his last dollar if they asked for it. He just can't take care of himself.

Good afternoon and Love -- Pepper

Faith -- Word for the Day -- Thursday, May 21, 2009

Faith --

Definition:
1 a: allegiance to duty or a person : loyalty b (1): fidelity to one's promises (2): sincerity of intentions
2 a (1): belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2): belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1): firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2): complete trust
3: something that is believed especially with strong conviction

We had faith today as we entered into the doctor's office for ChemoSabe's visit. After the PET scan, MRI and bone marrow biopsy I had that 'dread' again. Dye was injected into his veins on this MRI and it was a full body. Results --- All the 25+ lesions still exist but are not growing. In fact, one that was 3.7 cm is now 1.5 cm. He is clean.

When we get our order of Revlimid then we will begin the one year maintenance schedule which consists of twice a week Velcade (chemo) injection for two weeks, every 28 days. We start on Dex then, too, every 28 days along with other meds.

I looked at his labs on Tuesday and noticed cholesterol was 245... HIGH... So, he called the transplant nurse himself and they called in a script for his Crestor that he took after his triple bypass.

So, we are on the road again, or should I say 'schedule' of regular meds along with added drugs. He is warned to watch his weight. Why did he look at me when she said that? We don't eat fried foods or junk. We usually do our two veggies and one meat. He is a big lover of bread and ice cream. I don't indulge myself in that. Guess those will be coming off the grocery list.

I lost that eight pounds last week and I can see a big different in my gut. Maybe I got a good start on weight loss. Just didn't want to lose it that way.

My little brother is doing well this week. He has been laughing about things that have happened and has accepted this as God's will. I believe he is uplifted with the waiting of the memorial services for this weekend. Maybe this week gave him time to heal a little bit before saying his final goodbye.

We were heading out to St. Louis today, but we have postponed. We thought about a short trip on Saturday evening and coming back on Monday, but I think we would be pushing it. We definitely will have to make it before the Velcade starts as that will make him quite tired.

Oh... we have to keep him out of the sun, too. The doctor thought he was serious when he said he could put an umbrella on his bike... ha She is such a doll!

I forgot to tell you guys that son and I gave a surprise one year cancer survivor party for ChemoSabe on May 9. He was quite surprised. We had about 30 people. They all had on white handkerchiefs when we walked in. With the swine flu going around I couldn't find masks... If you didn't get to come, thank you for being with us the last year. What a trip! We will do it again next year (party, that is).

We are losing our transplant nurse. She is transferring within UAMS. She loves us so much she gave us her email address. She lives about six miles from us so maybe we will run into her, too. She got our invitation on Monday after the party on Saturday. She was disappointed.

We will be heading into Little Rock this evening to have dinner with Rog and Ruthie from OKC. He finished up his second stem cell and will be going back on the chemo bag tomorrow. Please put him in your prayers.

Well, kids... Going to call it a day. I think of all of you often.

Good afternoon and love -- Pepper

The following link is to the song "Long Black Train"... It will be played at Sharon's services.... It is an awesome video and would be a good tool for anyone on drugs or alcohol... Just copy and paste it into your browser

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wOtytISn4

Ill -- Word for the Day -- Monday, May 18, 2009

Ill

1 achiefly Scottish : immoral, vicious b: resulting from, accompanied by, or indicative of an evil or malevolent intention c: attributing evil or an objectionable quality
2 a: causing suffering or distress bcomparative also ill·er superlative also illest (1): not normal or sound (2): not in good health

I think the 'vicious, evil, suffering' are great adjectives for the following.

God never gives us more than we can handle.... He handles it... He diverts us when we get overwhelmed and takes our mind off of it by giving us something else.

ChemoSabe starts his tests again on Tuesday... PET scan at 7:00 with bone marrow biopsy around 1:30..

What a helleva week. My sister-in-law that was diagnosed with brain and lung cancer in October was in ICU the last two weeks. Wednesday, May 13 was her 52nd birthday. She passed away..

I had a scratchy throat all week and couldn't swallow without severe pain on Thurs. Went to the doctor and he put me to bed with Levaquin. Said it may be a bacterial infection. It was worse on Friday so I went back. My infection level was still high so they did more blood tests and looked for mono. Had an ultra sound on my throat.. Found a couple of swollen lymphoids. Sent me to a ENT doc and he found infected cysts. Explained it as tonsillitis, but I had mine out when I was five. He lanced one and it was packed. Took me to his little surgery room and cut on it again. Sent me home with penicillin.... Ate and still had painful swallowing. Took the pill at 7:30 and from 8:30 p.m. to 3:30 a.m. I was dry heaving and diarrhea..

ChemoSabe called sister and she brought fenegrin. No help. Around 10:30 I was straight blood from then to 3:30 a.m.. Called the doctor and he instructed them to take me to ER in LR. Was there for six hours. Admitted me at 5:30 a.m. on Friday and released me on Saturday after two units of fluid and three bags of antibiotics. They thought I was septic. All this, my family doctor thinks is because I ran myself down as a caregiver.

I feel wonderful today. No flu like aches (like the last 3-4 weeks). I am resting well and have some energy. Lost eight pounds in seven hours. Now,that's a diet plan. I really don't know how I worked the last two weeks. I just convinced myself that was life and 'get over it'.

My little brother came up to the hospital and laughed... He said, "Now how does it look from that side?" He is doing very well after Sharon's death. He has gone through all their paperwork and is sorting out things and taking care of them immediately. I am so proud of him.

I could not have made the last week without my older brother. He mowed my yard, folded laundry, was at the hospital constantly with Mike while he was here and then checked on him after Mike went home. He also kept ChemoSabe company while I was ill by taking him out to eat.

Sister is always there for us, too. Pick up the phone and she is there is 15 minutes..... Thank you.

Most of all, ChemoSabe was my strength. He is not use to me being the patient... He has been a good caretaker.

Well, I guess that is it for now. I am back at work today. My boss did the church bulletins and he did great. Instead of putting the menu in for Wednesday night, he just put "Something Good".

Thank you for your prayers..... See you soon...God is good, all the time!

Good Day and Love -- Pepper