Cancer
Definition:
a: malignant tumor of potentially unlimited growth that expands locally by invasion and systemically by metastasis b: an abnormal bodily state marked by such tumors
c: something evil or malignant that spreads destructively.
ChemoSabe has been living life to the fullest the last couple of weeks. He doesn't have labs or Velcade for two more weeks. Remember, the last time he had a break (four weeks ago) he got pneumonia. Cross your fingers.
He had a good 62nd birthday last week. He thought he was 61 until he spoke with his dad and thanked him for all the 61 years. His dad quickly corrected him. ChemoSabe told him his chemo thinking must have wanted him to forget about the last year and just erase it.
My boss (the pastor) fixed us a nice steak dinner last week on his birthday. This week the boss has a viral infection. I was very afraid ChemoSabe would get sick this week. But, he hasn't. We went to the lake with son and family last Saturday, ate fish buffet on Sunday and he has traveled all week. I really haven't seen or talked to him since night before last. He was up and out by 5:00 a.m. yesterday and didn't get home from Mississippi until 11:30 p.m. Then up and out again this morning by 6:30 a.m. He has a new job site beginning at 10:00 p.m. until 6:00 a.m. and then another appt. in the morning. AND, he ain't even on Dex (steroids) this week.
I am keeping up with him, though. I have been taking some new stuff that reduces fat in your system and cleanses the crud out of your colon. It is suppose to give you more energy. I have been on it a month and I keep telling my body to slow down and it just keeps on ticking. ChemoSabe asked me Tuesday night when I was in the floor cleaning out the kitchen cabinets if I had been sneaking into his Dex.
Last week I shampooed carpets in our bedroom, den, living room, back dining room and bathrooms (3). Friday I took the machine over to the son's and shampooed his living room and hallway. I may not lose any weight or inches, but I am getting a lot of house work done, so it is worth it. ha
Had Pete neutered last week and I think the doc injected him with some steroids, too. We think he is jumping higher and farther... He is a min-pin.
I met a MM cancer patient yesterday that is staying in one of the church's hospitality houses this week. He was diagnosed in 2003 and is in remission. He doesn't take any medications now. I just couldn't believe it. We talked for about 30 min. He is from Indiana. His name is Christian. He got into a fight with a deer and thought he had a pulled muscle. I believe that is the strangest story of diagnosis I have heard on the MM.
I have really missed my mother this week. I have cried on the way home just about every day, especially when I pass the nursing home. I really let it wail when I hear the song by Carrie Underwood, "I Told You So".... I think about all the times I was too big for my britches and thought I didn't need her. When I got a divorce and had to move back home. The times I thought I didn't have a few extra minutes to call to just say, "Hello". The times I did call and she told me how much those calls meant to her. She never once said, "I told you so."
ChemoSabe and I were going to catch a quick trip to Eureka, but I just don't believe we need to push his good health right now. The weather is going to be beautiful, but........ Cancer may be lurking. Don't want to push our luck. We are blessed.
Get ready for some tests coming up in the next couple of weeks. Study....look back.... you never know what I am going to ask you. Hey, an essay from you would be good. Let me think about the topic AND a prize.
Gotta go
Good Day and Love -- Pepper
Chemo Sabe
- ChemoSabe
- Benton, AR, United States
- Diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma-- May 2008
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Retreat -- Word for the Day -- Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Retreat
Definition: 1: an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable 2: the process of receding from a position or state attained 3: the usually forced withdrawal of troops from an enemy or from an advanced position 4: a place of privacy or safety refuge 5: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director.
This may be too far back for you to remember (heck, I can't remember it myself).. Sharon and Mike (sister-in-law and brother) signed us up in December to go to a CARTI cancer survivor retreat at Petit Jean. Well, with my mom being ill and with Sharon having radiation treatments/chemo and then with ChemoSabe beginning his cycle again in January, we all had to reschedule. To make a long story short, ChemoSabe and I made the trip on Saturday and arrived at Petit Jean at 10:00 a.m. for check-in.
Let me back track a bit... ChemoSabe had his Velcade injections last Monday and Friday... CRP (crap) was down to less than 5 on Friday.... WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT! So, without the fatigue setting in and coming off the Dex on Friday, we decided to ride the bikes up to the retreat.
Parker did not have a stroke. He is having neuropathy, just like ChemoSabe's except his is from being a diabetic. Having Pete neutered on Tuesday.
Now, back to the retreat. We checked in at room registration and were instructed to go to a meeting room. BOOM!!! we walked into a room full of people and we were given a packet. Kinda like our first visit at UAMS Myelmoa clinic upon Orientation. We found a table with six other people...from L.R. and Quitman. I saw that look in ChemoSabe's face as we sat down. It was the same look I saw when we had to take a property tour at Disney World some years back.. He swore "NEVER AGAIN!".
We ate before starting. We were able to introduce ourselves and share our experiences along with the others. We ate. We watched a video and did a session on "Gifts" and "Challenges". We ate. We were dismissed to lunch... And we ate.
We broke up into groups of "Caregivers" and "Survivors". This I really liked. We got to share more. We ate. We were given free time from 5:00 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and then We Ate dinner.
Our Fellowship time was the neatest and funniest time. We played "Not So Newlywed" game. I have always wanted to play this game. Fortunately, ChemoSabe and I were selected. I was thrilled... He wasn't so thrilled. BUT, we came in Second Place and laughed our booties off. The first place couple has been married for56 years. Afterward we stayed for the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey and laughed our booties off more.
I ended up sleeping on the floor in our room. I am guessing all that laughing did something to the muscles in ChemoSabe's throat and he snored his bootie off. ha
We cannot tell you how much we enjoyed the meetings, the sharing, the crying, the information and the Eating... We learned so much from each individual we met. It brought back memories of the pain we endured when we discovered his cancer. It brought back the joy of the word "Remission". It brought back the fear and uncertainty. It reminded us we are not alone.
We learned of new cancers and treatments we were not aware of. Brain cancer, throat cancer, colon cancer, skin cancer, prostate cancer and rectal cancer. All these are treated by radiation. Which brings them to CARTI (Central Arkansas Radiation Treatment Institute). Unlike the MM patients, the CARTI patients are all from Arkansas. With MM we have met people from just about every state in the U.S. and some from outside the U.S.
We were able to share the type cancer that ChemoSabe has and the chemo treatments. We call it the liquid treatment. We soon discovered the CARTI patients do not take even the closest of the medications that we have.
The volunteers, employees and doctor were wonderful in their presentation and preparation for this retreat. It was truly an experience we are glad we did not cancel or walk out on when ChemoSabe had that look in his eye.
If you have not visited WinRock Farms to site see or stay at their facility, you are in for a treat. It is beautiful there. We never knew it was there all these years.
I wondered on the way home if there were any words of wisdom I could have or can share. I thought about my bike. Something I say to myself each time I ride and approach a curve. I never know what is on the other end of the curve. It was taught to me at my motorcycle course.
LOOK -- SLOW -- PUSH -- ROLL
LOOK way head of the curve -- wherever you look, that is where your bike takes you. If you look down or to the right, that is where you will go. So, look positively ahead of your illness. It will get you started in the right direction.
SLOW down and get your bearings about you. Plan your next step. Slow down your thinking. You are not in control, so just relax as if you are on an air mattress on the lake basking in the sun.
PUSH your handlebar. Push in the opposite direction of the way you want to go. This was a difficult one for me. If you push your handlebar to the left, for some reason your bike goes right. So, push forward with your illness. Sometimes it may seem you are headed in the wrong direction, but if you keep your focus on LOOK and SLOW, you will reach your goal.
ROLL -- means to increase your speed. My son always told me when I got to that curve to speed up. It would balance me out. I didn't want to increase my speed in a curve.. NO WAY! But...when I would go around the curve slowly I found my bike wobbling and choking. Sure enough, I trusted my bike when I increased my speed and it takes the curves wonderfully. So, when you set your sites on your illness, and slow down to plan your attack, then push ahead with your plan, increase your speed. Your motivation. Roll up your attitude, your feelings and your faith. It will increase your energy and make you more positive.
Thank you so much CARTI for the weekend. We wouldn't have wanted to do anything different.
Good day and Love -- Pepper
Definition: 1: an act or process of withdrawing especially from what is difficult, dangerous, or disagreeable 2: the process of receding from a position or state attained 3: the usually forced withdrawal of troops from an enemy or from an advanced position 4: a place of privacy or safety refuge 5: a period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, study, or instruction under a director.
This may be too far back for you to remember (heck, I can't remember it myself).. Sharon and Mike (sister-in-law and brother) signed us up in December to go to a CARTI cancer survivor retreat at Petit Jean. Well, with my mom being ill and with Sharon having radiation treatments/chemo and then with ChemoSabe beginning his cycle again in January, we all had to reschedule. To make a long story short, ChemoSabe and I made the trip on Saturday and arrived at Petit Jean at 10:00 a.m. for check-in.
Let me back track a bit... ChemoSabe had his Velcade injections last Monday and Friday... CRP (crap) was down to less than 5 on Friday.... WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT! So, without the fatigue setting in and coming off the Dex on Friday, we decided to ride the bikes up to the retreat.
Parker did not have a stroke. He is having neuropathy, just like ChemoSabe's except his is from being a diabetic. Having Pete neutered on Tuesday.
Now, back to the retreat. We checked in at room registration and were instructed to go to a meeting room. BOOM!!! we walked into a room full of people and we were given a packet. Kinda like our first visit at UAMS Myelmoa clinic upon Orientation. We found a table with six other people...from L.R. and Quitman. I saw that look in ChemoSabe's face as we sat down. It was the same look I saw when we had to take a property tour at Disney World some years back.. He swore "NEVER AGAIN!".
We ate before starting. We were able to introduce ourselves and share our experiences along with the others. We ate. We watched a video and did a session on "Gifts" and "Challenges". We ate. We were dismissed to lunch... And we ate.
We broke up into groups of "Caregivers" and "Survivors". This I really liked. We got to share more. We ate. We were given free time from 5:00 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and then We Ate dinner.
Our Fellowship time was the neatest and funniest time. We played "Not So Newlywed" game. I have always wanted to play this game. Fortunately, ChemoSabe and I were selected. I was thrilled... He wasn't so thrilled. BUT, we came in Second Place and laughed our booties off. The first place couple has been married for56 years. Afterward we stayed for the movie "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey and laughed our booties off more.
I ended up sleeping on the floor in our room. I am guessing all that laughing did something to the muscles in ChemoSabe's throat and he snored his bootie off. ha
We cannot tell you how much we enjoyed the meetings, the sharing, the crying, the information and the Eating... We learned so much from each individual we met. It brought back memories of the pain we endured when we discovered his cancer. It brought back the joy of the word "Remission". It brought back the fear and uncertainty. It reminded us we are not alone.
We learned of new cancers and treatments we were not aware of. Brain cancer, throat cancer, colon cancer, skin cancer, prostate cancer and rectal cancer. All these are treated by radiation. Which brings them to CARTI (Central Arkansas Radiation Treatment Institute). Unlike the MM patients, the CARTI patients are all from Arkansas. With MM we have met people from just about every state in the U.S. and some from outside the U.S.
We were able to share the type cancer that ChemoSabe has and the chemo treatments. We call it the liquid treatment. We soon discovered the CARTI patients do not take even the closest of the medications that we have.
The volunteers, employees and doctor were wonderful in their presentation and preparation for this retreat. It was truly an experience we are glad we did not cancel or walk out on when ChemoSabe had that look in his eye.
If you have not visited WinRock Farms to site see or stay at their facility, you are in for a treat. It is beautiful there. We never knew it was there all these years.
I wondered on the way home if there were any words of wisdom I could have or can share. I thought about my bike. Something I say to myself each time I ride and approach a curve. I never know what is on the other end of the curve. It was taught to me at my motorcycle course.
LOOK -- SLOW -- PUSH -- ROLL
LOOK way head of the curve -- wherever you look, that is where your bike takes you. If you look down or to the right, that is where you will go. So, look positively ahead of your illness. It will get you started in the right direction.
SLOW down and get your bearings about you. Plan your next step. Slow down your thinking. You are not in control, so just relax as if you are on an air mattress on the lake basking in the sun.
PUSH your handlebar. Push in the opposite direction of the way you want to go. This was a difficult one for me. If you push your handlebar to the left, for some reason your bike goes right. So, push forward with your illness. Sometimes it may seem you are headed in the wrong direction, but if you keep your focus on LOOK and SLOW, you will reach your goal.
ROLL -- means to increase your speed. My son always told me when I got to that curve to speed up. It would balance me out. I didn't want to increase my speed in a curve.. NO WAY! But...when I would go around the curve slowly I found my bike wobbling and choking. Sure enough, I trusted my bike when I increased my speed and it takes the curves wonderfully. So, when you set your sites on your illness, and slow down to plan your attack, then push ahead with your plan, increase your speed. Your motivation. Roll up your attitude, your feelings and your faith. It will increase your energy and make you more positive.
Thank you so much CARTI for the weekend. We wouldn't have wanted to do anything different.
Good day and Love -- Pepper
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Schedule -- Word for the Day -- Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Schedule
Definition: a written or printed list, catalog, or inventory; also: timetable; program; especially: a procedural plan that indicates the time and sequence of each operation
We are back on schedule beginning today. The steroid (Dexamethasone) began today along with Velcade. Dex will be for four days this week and next week. Velcade will be today and Friday and then next Tuesday and next Friday. Let's hope this round isn't 'kick ass' like the last time.
Pneumonia is gone and the coughing is at almost nothing. He still looks puny to me, but he says he feels rather well. He has lost about 11 pounds, but he needed to. Wish I could.
His hair is about 1/4 inch now and it looks like it has more black than gray. His eyebrows are almost solid black. We will see as it progresses. He likes the bald look, but I think he is curious.
He helped my older brother and me work on my little brother's property over the weekend and then on ours a little on Saturday. We did some massive work at little brother's.
We have a special weekend planned at Petit Jean Mountain. Back in October, my little brother and Sharon signed us up with them to attend a cancer survivor retreat. They were very excited about going and the first scheduled date had to be canceled because of her treatments and ChemoSabe's and my mother's illness. Now, it is just CS and me. It will be bittersweet.
We think Parker (one of our kids) had a light stroke on Saturday. He is dragging his left front and hind leg. He can't put very much weight on his left side. He is one of the blind childs with diabetes. I am taking him in this afternoon for a check up and his shots along with Kipper.
I have also scheduled Pete and Maxie this week, but on different days. They are the largest and smallest of the group. Pete pesters Maxie too much so I can't take them together. I am seriously thinking about getting him neutered. I would like to breed him, but since he was a stray we don't have his papers.
I have really been missing my mom the last couple of weeks. I have to pass the nursing home to and from work and I just have to turn and look the other way. When I went to bed last night I cried. If I just had one more minute. I look at ChemoSabe and I am so thankful we were given the opportunity to fight.
We did get to ride a little over the weekend. We went to Hot Springs on Saturday and window shopped, then stopped at our little favorite spot by Hot Springs Village and grabbed a bite. When we came out we heard a roaring sound. We thought it was a small car with loud pipes. Then we heard it again. THUNDER! We looked at each other and laughed and then rode them like we stole them. Made it without a drop.
Sunday.... was a different story. We left the house headed for Heber Springs. It was sprinkling when we left the driveway. We got to the interstate (one mile from the house) and we were soaked to the bone. We went ahead to the service station for gas and sat out the storm. When we saw the 'all clear', we headed on down to the video store. Soaked again!..... Headed to the house for the afternoon.... Soaked again!!! But, what fun it was.
We have a long week scheduled into the weekend. Guess we are taking our 4th a week late.
Have a good week yourselves.
Good Day and Love -- Pepper
Definition: a written or printed list, catalog, or inventory; also: timetable; program; especially: a procedural plan that indicates the time and sequence of each operation
We are back on schedule beginning today. The steroid (Dexamethasone) began today along with Velcade. Dex will be for four days this week and next week. Velcade will be today and Friday and then next Tuesday and next Friday. Let's hope this round isn't 'kick ass' like the last time.
Pneumonia is gone and the coughing is at almost nothing. He still looks puny to me, but he says he feels rather well. He has lost about 11 pounds, but he needed to. Wish I could.
His hair is about 1/4 inch now and it looks like it has more black than gray. His eyebrows are almost solid black. We will see as it progresses. He likes the bald look, but I think he is curious.
He helped my older brother and me work on my little brother's property over the weekend and then on ours a little on Saturday. We did some massive work at little brother's.
We have a special weekend planned at Petit Jean Mountain. Back in October, my little brother and Sharon signed us up with them to attend a cancer survivor retreat. They were very excited about going and the first scheduled date had to be canceled because of her treatments and ChemoSabe's and my mother's illness. Now, it is just CS and me. It will be bittersweet.
We think Parker (one of our kids) had a light stroke on Saturday. He is dragging his left front and hind leg. He can't put very much weight on his left side. He is one of the blind childs with diabetes. I am taking him in this afternoon for a check up and his shots along with Kipper.
I have also scheduled Pete and Maxie this week, but on different days. They are the largest and smallest of the group. Pete pesters Maxie too much so I can't take them together. I am seriously thinking about getting him neutered. I would like to breed him, but since he was a stray we don't have his papers.
I have really been missing my mom the last couple of weeks. I have to pass the nursing home to and from work and I just have to turn and look the other way. When I went to bed last night I cried. If I just had one more minute. I look at ChemoSabe and I am so thankful we were given the opportunity to fight.
We did get to ride a little over the weekend. We went to Hot Springs on Saturday and window shopped, then stopped at our little favorite spot by Hot Springs Village and grabbed a bite. When we came out we heard a roaring sound. We thought it was a small car with loud pipes. Then we heard it again. THUNDER! We looked at each other and laughed and then rode them like we stole them. Made it without a drop.
Sunday.... was a different story. We left the house headed for Heber Springs. It was sprinkling when we left the driveway. We got to the interstate (one mile from the house) and we were soaked to the bone. We went ahead to the service station for gas and sat out the storm. When we saw the 'all clear', we headed on down to the video store. Soaked again!..... Headed to the house for the afternoon.... Soaked again!!! But, what fun it was.
We have a long week scheduled into the weekend. Guess we are taking our 4th a week late.
Have a good week yourselves.
Good Day and Love -- Pepper
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Freedom -- Word for the Day -- Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Freedom
1: the quality or state of being free: as a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another
Could we all not give a dozen definitions of Freedom? Mine would be "freedom" of cancer. Remission is a wonderful thing, but you still have the fear and the maintenance. The doubt is what gets to me.
ChemoSabe is progressing well. Not at a fast pace, but not at a slow one either. Sunday gave him another day of IV antibiotics and saline. His CRP was not really any better.
Monday was another lab day, but no IV. He goes back for a follow-up on Friday. His CRP is still at 60.5. I am surprised they don't seem at all concerned.
I believe I told you a few weeks back that he was accidentally taking his day meds at night and vice versa. Even when I put them on a paper towel and marked "AM" and "PM". It really messed him up when he was on the Dex. Wired at night and sleepy in the day. He made that mistake about three times.
Well, Monday, for some reason, he was sorting his A.M. pills. I had done them the night before. I now put them in the kitchen window in two separate dessert bowls which I have marked "Night" and "Day". Easy enough, right?
Okay, back to the story... For some reason he sorted his a.m. pills. He yelled up the stairs and asked if he was still supposed to be taking Acycolvir. I was thinking, "Wellllllll, yesssss." To make a long story short.... We discovered he hasn't taken it since June 16. This is a medication he is to take for the rest of his days, in the a.m. and p.m. I got faint.
Acyclovir is an anti-viral drug. A light bulb went off in my head. Maybe this is why his CRP hasn't come down. After all, pneumonia is a viral infection. The more I thought about it the sicker I got. The more guilty I felt. One of us had just placed it aside on the kitchen shelf away from his other drugs.
We are back on track. I have my hopes up about his CRP being next to nothing on Friday. Cross your fingers.....
I helped my little (6 ft 3 in.) brother do his bills last night. He is doing so well since Sharon has been gone. We shed a few tears yesterday, but they were more of a cleansing. Older brother and I will be going out on Saturday and mowing his lot for him. I am taking my rider. Things are about knee deep out there.
It is just too hot for us to ride the bikes. ChemoSabe still has a cough and I really don't want him to take chances. Although, we did ride to the drug store on Monday to get another round of meds. It was a bit nippy at 7:30 p.m. I can't wait to use my highway pegs he put on for me a few weeks back. Prop my legs up like I'm in a recliner and cruise on down the highway. (Aunt Betty -- pretend you didn't read that part).
Son has been very sick this week with a sinus infection. I can't believe he actually went to the doctor and then went home to bed. Only one day, though... So, no bragging on him there.
Just wanted to update you on ChemoSabe's health. Can't worry about someone that won't fall down. He drove to Shreveport yesterday and Lake Village today.. What can I say?
Have a wonderful and safe 4th -- Celebrate your Freedom...
Good Day and Love -- Pepper
1: the quality or state of being free: as a: the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action b: liberation from slavery or restraint or from the power of another
Could we all not give a dozen definitions of Freedom? Mine would be "freedom" of cancer. Remission is a wonderful thing, but you still have the fear and the maintenance. The doubt is what gets to me.
ChemoSabe is progressing well. Not at a fast pace, but not at a slow one either. Sunday gave him another day of IV antibiotics and saline. His CRP was not really any better.
Monday was another lab day, but no IV. He goes back for a follow-up on Friday. His CRP is still at 60.5. I am surprised they don't seem at all concerned.
I believe I told you a few weeks back that he was accidentally taking his day meds at night and vice versa. Even when I put them on a paper towel and marked "AM" and "PM". It really messed him up when he was on the Dex. Wired at night and sleepy in the day. He made that mistake about three times.
Well, Monday, for some reason, he was sorting his A.M. pills. I had done them the night before. I now put them in the kitchen window in two separate dessert bowls which I have marked "Night" and "Day". Easy enough, right?
Okay, back to the story... For some reason he sorted his a.m. pills. He yelled up the stairs and asked if he was still supposed to be taking Acycolvir. I was thinking, "Wellllllll, yesssss." To make a long story short.... We discovered he hasn't taken it since June 16. This is a medication he is to take for the rest of his days, in the a.m. and p.m. I got faint.
Acyclovir is an anti-viral drug. A light bulb went off in my head. Maybe this is why his CRP hasn't come down. After all, pneumonia is a viral infection. The more I thought about it the sicker I got. The more guilty I felt. One of us had just placed it aside on the kitchen shelf away from his other drugs.
We are back on track. I have my hopes up about his CRP being next to nothing on Friday. Cross your fingers.....
I helped my little (6 ft 3 in.) brother do his bills last night. He is doing so well since Sharon has been gone. We shed a few tears yesterday, but they were more of a cleansing. Older brother and I will be going out on Saturday and mowing his lot for him. I am taking my rider. Things are about knee deep out there.
It is just too hot for us to ride the bikes. ChemoSabe still has a cough and I really don't want him to take chances. Although, we did ride to the drug store on Monday to get another round of meds. It was a bit nippy at 7:30 p.m. I can't wait to use my highway pegs he put on for me a few weeks back. Prop my legs up like I'm in a recliner and cruise on down the highway. (Aunt Betty -- pretend you didn't read that part).
Son has been very sick this week with a sinus infection. I can't believe he actually went to the doctor and then went home to bed. Only one day, though... So, no bragging on him there.
Just wanted to update you on ChemoSabe's health. Can't worry about someone that won't fall down. He drove to Shreveport yesterday and Lake Village today.. What can I say?
Have a wonderful and safe 4th -- Celebrate your Freedom...
Good Day and Love -- Pepper
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